OKAY.

Okay, for those of you who know me, I have a thing about going back on my word.
Let's just say that I'm not exactly the one to keep to my decisions, and I'm very impulsive.
So, in simple words, this blog is back.

END. OF. ORDINARY. BUT. EXTRAORDINARY.

I'm sorry to break it up guys. But my life calls me to have a new start. Everything that relates back to "him" will have to end. I need that chapter of my life to end.

But you know what, life goes on. My life doesn't just stop moving because of something that didn't work out, or something that ended. Time doesn't stop. Nor does anything else in life.

In a lot of ways, this chapter, phase, whatever you call it, was a lesson for me to realize that I've let things drag on for too long. I made the people around me suffer, and be sad with me. And I have to mend it. I have to patch things over, and show them that I'm not afraid of ending, and frightened by beginnings.

For once in my life, I was special to someone, important even. But that ceased and so did me. For a long time I was losing the real "Charlene" and became this person I didn't recognize. I don't want to be that person anymore. I need to be me. I have to be me. And if anyone isn't okay with that, then fine. But I am who I am, and I will continue being this vampire-crazed, crazy stalker girl. And I think, I'm not afraid. I am not going to let anyone walk over me like dirt. I'm going to live a little and enjoy my life while it lasts. Life is a gift, not a given right.

Like I said, back to my original topic, I'm going to let this blog go. But it doesn't mean that I won't have another. I will never stop blogging, for now anyways.

So look out everyone. Charlene's gonna come back soon.

I just want to say something that I've never had the chance to say. I want to say thank you to all of my friends. They mean the world to me, and they are the only people that told me the cold hard truth when I needed it. They never gave me bullshit or fucked with me in any way. And I just love them to death. They've helped me a lot during this dark period, and I wish they'll be with me for the rest of my life.

"Life is not only about what you do, it's also about who you do it with."

That's all for now, folks. Toodles :)

VAMPIRES. (Of course, PAUL WESLEY.)

Ha. Here I am, acting like a teenager.

And yes, I'm going CRAZY over vampires again.

But different ones this time. The Vampire Diaries ones.

But you have to admit, Paul Wesley is hot.

And allow me to borrow Regina's line, "His hair looks sexy pushed back."

And it does. MY GOD. Not only is Paul extremely good looking, he's FIT. And I mean Kellan Lutz fit. OHMYEFFINGGOD! Well, he's not as muscle-ly as Kellan, but he's body is defined and shaped.

AND HIS SQUARE JAW. Jaw porn FTW. You can see his jaw tighten when he bites on it, it's fucking amazing. (And I do realize that I am swearing an awful lot in here. PARENTS: Watch your kids.)

But serious. Vampire Diaries has got me hooked. At first, it was much like Twilight on crack and on TV, but this one is so much better!

Here's why:

1) hotter (aka, more collisions in the bedroom)

2) Vamps are not as strained and self-tortured as the Cullen Family

3) the lead role (PAUL WESLEY) is soooo much hotter -can't believe I'm saying it, but I am -

4) the girl is not so much of a pushover as Bella was and still is.

5) There is an actual storyline. Honestly.

6) More action, more bloodlust and actual deaths.

7) Rollercoaster.

There are more reasons but I just can't be bothered right now, maybe later.

Looking back, I can't believe that I thought Vampire Diaries was shit, and now I can't wait for the next episode. WOW.

But thinking about Vampires in general, I myself have googled "Vampires" many times due to my obvious obsession. And to be honest, I am getting clouded with the idea. I mean, do they exist or not? I'd like to think they do, but I keep thinking, what if they are not as nice as the ones on TV, in books and everywhere else? What if, they actually feed on human blood, and drained everyone you loved? Would you still give them your life, much like Elena and Bella?

In many ways, they way that the books write about vampires, are much like LOVE.

Sometimes forbidden love.

The thing about vampires is that it lures you in, they are associated with sex and power, and sort of that suave about it. Much like love.

And sometimes, vampire love is forbidden, it makes you scared of what you are, or what you're feeling. Much like love.

I don't know, I might just be reading too much into this vampirism thing, but really I think that's what it is.

Anyhoooo. So here's goodbye RPattz, and hello Paul, with open arms. *checks to see if he's on Twitter*

Night everyone! Have a fantastic Easter, I'll probably see you before then!

MARRIAGE.

What do YOU think about marriage?

For me, it is something I look forward to, something that I would love to experience. Or more extreme, something I HAVE to go through, something that would make my life complete.

So what happens when you want to stay with that single person forever, but he/she doesn't want the same things that you want.

I was shocked and upset when I heard it. But I do see your point. And the thought of never sharing that memory with you, it's terrifying.

For me, marriage is an idea. It's an idea that's been put out for everyone to see. It's like after spending so much time together, you realize that you love one and other, and you decide to show that to the world. It's like showing off your other half.

And it's not about the advantages or the drawbacks that it has on both parties, I don't even think you should think about that. For me, a relationship is not what you gain out of it, it's what you share. And thinking about you thinking about what you'd get out of it is enough to make me cry and wonder about everything. I don't want it to be about that. I want it to be about what you are willing to share with me, not that I need the material stuff to know.

It's almost like, you love this person so much, you want the whole world to know. You want the whole world to witness the magic, the chemistry and the love that you have for each other.

And you think marriage is about a piece of paper.

It's not.

I've always loved watching weddings. It's the one thing you should do once in your life. That day is all about you, having everyone being happy because of you. On that day, it's like nothing can stop you on your track, and nothing can make you doubt yourself. It's the one day when you feel like you're the centre of the universe, when you feel absolutely stunning. And when you walk down that aisle on your father's arm while staring intently into your soon-to-be husband's eyes, knowing that moment and that feeling will stay with you forever.

For me, it's just a magical experience that you'll remember for the rest of your life.

I don't know. I don't know if I should feel glad and happy that you think we'd last without any obligations, or I should feel disappointed and sad because you and I don't want the same things. Hmm.

TODAY : HAPPY.

Let's just say that today was a good day, and I have faith that everyday is going to be the same.

I really do hope that everything you said tonight is true.

I have faith too.

I love you.

HAPPINESS.

Have you ever asked yourselves, what is happiness? Or more specifically, what does happiness mean to you, as a person and an individual?

After yesterday, (my friend's Sweet 16) I think I grasped what happiness is to me.

For me, happiness doesn't have to be fancy. It doesn't have to be of an epic event or presents to make me happy. For me, happiness is simple.

I think I could live in a dump, and be surrounded by the people I love and I'll still be happy.

I think for me, life is not about how much time you have, but about who you choose to spend that time with and what you do together.

I don't need a huge house with a swimming pool in the backyard, or a car that'll cost me. I don't need any of that. I just need to be with the people I love.

My family, my friends and my other half is all I need in life. And the rest, I don't really care about it.

Some may argue that not having those things will cause problems between your family, and everyone you love. At some degree, I do agree with it, but not entirely.

I mean, sure! Of course it is going to be a problem when you're starving and cold. But I don't think I should make that aspect in life a thing that I'll consider for everything. When you think like that, all the material things will consume your life and soon, your life will be one huge fake failure.

But ultimately, I think the definition of happiness is personal. There is no "correct" meaning of happiness. Not that it matters anyway.

Being happy, is whatever that makes you happy. Twilight, Robert Pattinson and reading novels makes me happy.

What makes YOU happy?

ABOUT. ME.

Just a couple of things about me that you should know. (Or quite a few. )

Me, I'm Charlene Cher, and by the looks of it, you are other my friends (so you should already know that.) or the people that read my fanfiction.

That leads me to my next point, fanfiction. Yes, I write it, I read it. I admit it. I think a lot of the fanfiction writers out there, have the real potential to become a real writer, you know those "famous" ones that you buy in bookstores. But they don't, genuinely because they want to enjoy what they do, not sell what they enjoy and make money of it, until the day when you realize that you can't write anymore. The writers - very much like myself - are free. We write when we want to, what we want to, and the same goes for posting. We don't usually have any ties or deadlines to meet. Though, we do have fans to please.

As for relationship status, I am in a very complicated yet simple relationship with someone. And I am not homosexual.

I'm 15. I know, isn't that a little too young for someone to start blogging. No. None of that, thank you. I am completely and genuinely happy with myself. I have a Xanga, and I write what I think on there, it is mainly a portal which I share my thoughts on. A lot of them are rants, realizations or sad things about my life.

This is going to be different. This is mainly for my thoughts on life. I may be 15 but I don't think like a 15 year old.

That's all for now, stay tuned.